1:51pm: ....tap tap tap....testing?
 Umm I know I haven't posted in here for years on end, but I'm feeling more accomplished and goal oriented as of late. So I'm coming back to check my progress.
Or rant if I need to...
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Stephen Lynch "Lullaby"
utter
1:16pm: *door creaks open*
 who vote's that I actully sign up for a satalite connection so that I can actully update this how long has it been scince I lasted posted? does anyone even read this anymore?
Current Mood: apathetic
Current Music: Mindless Self Indulgance panty shot
6 whispers - utter
11:55pm: why would you not enable cookies on your computer?
I don't get it, what's the point of an internet connnection that you can't stay logged on for more then one page. I can only hope that this will even update.


stupied computer
stupied aunt disabling cookies
stupied thanks giving makeing me be here


I'm sorry I couldn't log into gaia to talk to you salvatore


or send you an email
or send you an IM EVEN on super shitty aim express
gooddanmwhyIottapeiceashitholiday
So this is my final attempt to get ahold of you at midnight two hours of unsuccsefull attempts.


I can't even get cruise ship prices of an ad.... how sad is that?
Current Mood: bitchy
Current Music: shhhh peoples sleeping
6 whispers - utter
1:02pm: YAY birthday. 20 years I have gone without succsesfully blowing my brains out. woOt.
Recent annocments to no one:
NEW PLACE all by myself again wich I do perfer to roomates aside from the whole food always going bad thing. But it's a fair trade off I think for haveing the the "whatever I want goes" aspect in a living situation. PLUS I gotta microwave for my birthday so now I can buy nothing but unhealthy microave dinners and poor man pizza and never worry about it going bad.

Salvatore has withstood my insane behavior for over a year now everyone that cares should appauld his resitance. *snuggles her lemon*

I will now be working at "Xpresso" makeing coffee for rich subrian house pet wives that missed the 100000000000000000000 starbucks around but the job is with Ali so it will still be the best job ever, mabey even better then Flossy's *pondering look*


oh well update over
Current Mood: mm mabey sparatic?
Current Music: MSI of course what eles?
9 whispers - utter
1:46pm: Raging depressed bullshit, do not read if you have nothing constutive to say
 what in the world is wrong with me? Of all my fabricated hopes and dreams I would comprmies all of them just to be cared for. Just to have someone who looks forward to when I get home from work. A smile when they see me not because they feel obliged but because they are truly happy to see me. How many have I spent so much effort and so much time on. So much co-dependance I have thrown myself into hopeing for the "co" to come true. But of all the nights I could not even lie down all the nights I have cried, I know not one has wasted a tear on me. Why shopuld they, it would be just that a waste. Who wants to comfort those who a constantly crying, replenish the ever draining. No one that is worth fighting for would ever make you fight. It must be such an uphill battle to be around me. It takes so little to make me feel unwanted and out of place. Unliked and akwared. So much this world has to offer but the one thing I long for... but only my own self-destructive behavior keeps it at bay. Oh how could I wish to emerge from the cacoon of blankets I wrap myself in as the fragil but perfectly unscathed creature, where beauty would replace the poisend corruption and the evoultion of my own mind.
Current Mood: disappointed
4 whispers - utter